The Curious Georges

Three!

Logie Rocks Out to The Police

Got Octuplets? What we can learn from the fate of twin pandas.

Today as Nicole and I were waiting for over an hour at the allergist's office, I had a lot of time to read to her from her "Highlights" magazine.  There was a fascinating article on giant pandas and I sure learned a thing or two.  For one, a baby panda is so small that the mother panda has no "bump" and thus zookeepers have no idea that the panda is pregnant.  At birth, the baby panda weighs significantly less than its mother.  In July 2005, a 235 lb panda gave birth to a baby that weighed 4 ounces, which is typical.  Pandas subsist on bamboo, which is not nutritious enough to produce bigger babies, or even very many babies.  But they still have twins about 50% of the time.

The panda article got me thinking about the higher-order multiple births in the news.  There is a family who just had quintuplets in our neighborhood and then of course, we have the recent birth of octuplets to a woman who already has six kids.   We're talking high-maintenance here!  Likewise, baby pandas are extremely high-maintenance.  The mother has to sit up for six weeks to hold the panda cub and keep it warm and safe.  The harried panda mom does not get to eat or drink for two weeks.  They nurse the babies up to 12 times a day.  Also, daddy panda doesn't help at all.  For these reasons, a panda mom is almost always incapable of caring for more than one cub and the second cub will die from neglect.  In an effort to save the species, they've implemented programs where the twin cubs are separated, cared for by zookeepers and fed formula.

Now, we know human moms can care for more than one child at a time.  I should know.  I had twins when my daughter was only 19 months.  However, it is hard!  It's still hard.  I'm constantly being pulled in three directions and doing mental triage has become second nature.  This means that the child who is being the most outrageously annoying is usually the one who gets the attention.

This leads us to this crazy mom of fourteen!  I am not going to mince words here.  The woman is a lunatic!  What woman willingly brings this many babies into the world without resources or even a father?  What kind of life will these babies have?  All the appearances on Oprah and a house built on "Extreme Makeover" aren't going to make up for what these babies will lack, namely a quality bond with their parents.  The details of how this selfish woman got pregnant are still fuzzy, but the possible scenarios bring up many ethical issues.  If she did IVF, what kind of doctor would willingly implant eight embryos?  Human females are not physically made to give birth to a litter.  It is extremely dangerous for both the health of the babies and the mother.  Even though these babies made it to 31 weeks, that is still fairly premature and many of them will likely experience a host of life-long problems.  Who is going to drive all these kids to their many appointments with physical, occupational or speech therapists?  How will they coordinate for extracurricular activities?  What kind of car will be able to accommodate this many children?  Oh, the list of how wrong this is goes on and on.

The answer to these questions is that someone besides the mom will be doing and providing all these things.  They will survive on hand-outs and volunteering from individuals, corporations, the government and the most insidious of all, the media.  Maybe they'll do a "Jon & Kate Plus Eight."  We think all this careless breeding is cute, but what a life!  How sad to be forced to live in the glare of media attention.  But will they have a choice?  In my mind, this is a glorified orphanage ... with cameras.

So what can we learn from our panda friends?   Pandas do not willingly have twins and they know their limitations.  In the future, nature will adapt when it has figured out that panda mommies should stick with singletons.  Now, human beings can handle twins or even triplets and most will not willingly neglect their offspring, but the red flags are a-wavin' when some nut-job decides to have a litter of eight (especially when she is already a single mom of six).  The reality is that one person cannot raise this many children, especially if they were born at the same time.  My friend just told me the saddest story of a family with five kids under the age of six.  The youngest child recently drowned in the bathtub.  When I asked her how this happened, she alluded to the chaos in the house with five young children.   I'm not advocating big-brother-ish control here, but can't something be done to stop the madness?  Or will society go on condoning this outrageous behavior all for the sake of good entertainment?  For the sake of these poor children, I truly hope that someone comes to their senses.

Posted on Mad About Multiples by Lisa George.

Original post from The Curious Georges.

Back in the Saddle

I have been woefully remiss in blogging recently.  I have all sorts of excuses ... Facebook is sucking up all my time, the holidays, the January blahs, etc.  But the reality is that I've been having, in the words of my hubbie, "an existential crisis."  (Yes, he really talks that way.)  So, what exactly is this crisis about, you ask, ever so obligingly?

Well, the problem is, I'm a doer.  If I'm not accomplishing something, I feel adrift.  Now, you would think that  raising three young children and managing a household would be "doing something," but apparently that's not enough for me.  I've talked before about how hard the role of stay-at-home mom is.  Raising the future adults of the world is really the most important job there is, but it's just that the results are not as obvious.  No one gives you an "A+" or a raise if you're a good mom.  My kids are too young to say, "Hey I appreciate what you do for me."  Don't get me wrong.  One smile or cute remark from the kidlets and it's all worth it, but somehow this doesn't always keep the existential crisis at bay.

So, back to the blogging stuff.  I thought that if I put some advertising on this site, I would be able to contribute some money to the household and then feel like I was "doing something."  Well, it hasn't really worked out that way and I'm realizing that that's not really what this blog about.  It will always only appeal to a very short list of family, friends and fellow parents.  I don't want to be contrived and start scheming of ways to drive traffic to this blog.  This just gives me post traumatic stress from my days in advertising when things like "driving traffic" were utmost on my mind.  Right now, my kids are utmost on my mind, and that's how I'm going to keep it.

The existential despair also stems from wanting to use my creativity in ways that matter.  I love taking pictures, cooking, traveling and writing.  Isn't there a way to make these things into something with tangible results that go beyond mere hobbies (as in some sort of job)?  Well, the answer is, "right now, no."  I barely have a spare hour in the week so embarking on these quests is pretty much out of the question.  I have made a conscious decision to be home with my kids and when it comes down to it, I wouldn't want it any other way.  Still ...

My mother, never the most supportive of people, called me a "dilettante" because I always seem to just dabble in this and that.  Yes, it was meant as a put-down and unfortunately these words have stuck in my head.  Maybe if I did something really big, I could prove to the spirit of my mom that I'm worth something.  Barton says to ignore this inner critic (mom) and move on.  I think I will.

Is it a twin thing?

As evidenced by the posts in the past six months or so, Dane and Logan have taken the "monkey factor" to new, unheard of levels of monkeyness.  Are they purposely trying to provide fodder for my blog? Are they simply uber-mischievous?  Is it just "the terrible two's?" Or is it that other wonderful excuse, "it's a twin thing?"  I've been trying this excuse on for size recently and I think I like it.  The boys don't have some genetic disposition for trouble!  Blame their crazy behavior solely on their twin-ness!

The latest vexing behavior is Dane's unlatching his car seat and getting out while I'm driving.  I've talked before about how Dane is STRONG!  This is not bragging.  It is a fact.  We can blame his paternal grandfather, Peter, the triple medal Olympic champion in weightlifting.  Most kids his age cannot undo the car seat latches because they are purposely made to foil children!  But, Dane is all about foiling.  Give him a situation that is seemingly impossible to mess with and he will mess with it.  This is why Barton has to "fix the boys wagons" almost every weekend.  "Fixing their wagons" is Barton's catch-phrase for trying to foil the boys' antics.  Examples of "fixing their wagons:"  Putting latches on each and every door in the house and also the shutters and drawers.  Removing any object in their room on which they could climb to undo said latches.  Taking their drawers out of their armoire when they figured out the latches.  Bolting their beds to the walls, etc.  You get the idea.  If you've been following this blog, you've seen numerous examples of mommy and daddy trying to stay one step ahead of the monkeys.  Or maybe we're just trailing in their dust ... who knows.

Anyway, this car seat problem has got me seeing red.  Not only does Dane remove himself from his seat, he then goes on to undo Logan's seat belt.  Thankfully, this has not happened while driving yet.  I've only had to contend with one monkey loose in the car while driving, but one is enough ... especially on the freeway!  I flew into a rage yesterday because it is just so frustrating to feel like their is no "safety net" when it comes to the boys being in the car.  By safety net, I'm not just talking about the literal sense of Dane being safe while driving.  I'm talking about the peace of mind that comes from knowing that your little one is ensconced in their seat so you can then go about loading the car, go back into the house countless times for the items that you either forgot or are in demand by the little people, change one of the boys' diapers, etc.  It was the same feeling I got when we took down the gates.  If their slogan then was "Don't Fence Me It," it's now "Don't Latch Me In."  Just when I think things can't get worse, there they go to prove me wrong.

So can I blame this all on the twin thing?  I don't know.  I do know that siblings will egg each other on regardless of whether they're twins.  But the difference is that non-twin siblings are different ages so they will be in different phases of development.  Also, with twins, it's somehow a given that they spend the majority of their early years attached at the hip, whereas different-age siblings are more often split up.  Another factor could be the spacing of our children and when I talk about spacing, we have virtually none.  So when one adult is trying to contend with three little monkeys, discipline such as "time-out" gets fairly hard to enforce.  This just sets the stage for mischief, mischief, mischief. 

Regardless of the cause of this new development, I'm going to have to solve the problem soon.  Legend has it that one mom purposely slammed on the brakes when her daughter had removed herself from her car seat, sending the little one careening forward just enough to send the message:  Stay put or you could get seriously hurt!  I'm not sure that's the solution for me, but hey, if things get really desperate ...

 

Double Trouble:  Cliche, but true

... Candygram ...

 

Dane practices his post-reprimand pout

Ooops, we did it again!

We had two more apocalyptic naps over the past week.  The coup de grace was when they took pictures out of their frames and tore them up and also when Dane dropped trow and peed on the clothes.  Hopefully, Barton "fixed their wagons" by bolting the beds to the wall!  Mommy is getting tired of re-washing and folding over a hundred items of clothing.

Facebook: The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

If you're not aware, there is a phenomenon sweeping the world called Facebook. 

  The stats are staggering: 

• More than 130 million active users
• Facebook is the 4th most-trafficked website in the world (comScore)
• Facebook is the most-trafficked social media site in the world (comScore)

Despite Barton's urging, I was very reluctant to jump on this particular bandwagon.  My down-time is so scarce and precious that I didn't want to add another "time-suck."

I finally relented, mostly because it seemed that if I wasn't on Facebook, I might as well not be a member of the human race.  Call it peer pressure, if you will, but I generally don't give in to that kind of stuff.  Hence, I've never read a Harry Potter book (or seen any of the movies) and I haven't read "The Da Vinci Code" either.  They just don't interest me, even though it seems everyone and their brother is interested.  So I wouldn't say it was peer pressure that made me give in, but just a curiosity to see what all the hullabaloo was about.

Anyway, I finally decided that I would take the Facebook plunge, but still procrastinated for weeks to actually set up an account.  One morning, I decided I would set up an account.  How long could it take, right?  Well, let's just say that I missed the yoga class I intended to attend that morning.  This was seriously addictive stuff!  This can be Bad and Ugly.  "Welcome to the dark side," was my friend Betsy's greeting.  Knowing what I know about Facebook now, I would say that should be their tagline.

There are so many components to Facebook that I don't even know where to begin.  First, it's the thrill of connecting with people you haven't seen or thought about in ages.  That boy you had a crush on in sixth grade?  He's probably on Facebook.  Look him up, e-mail him, make his day!  Then there's the thrill of actually seeing a photo of that person, fast-forward years and years and years.  If, for instance, it was a boy from sixth grade that I was connecting with, this is a 31-year fast forward.  Whew!  Makes you dizzy!  The strange thing is that people seem to be frozen in my memory from the last time I saw them.  Your brain doesn't think of people as aging when you don't see them for a long time.  It's especially weird for people with children.  Hey, how did little Mikey go from being a five year-old to a full-grown adolescent so fast? 

The second cool thing about Facebook is that it's like having one giant cocktail party on your computer, but with people from every nook and cranny of your life.  This can be discombobulating at times, especially if you tend to compartmentalize your life like I do.  Not only is this cocktail party going on, but people are revealing all sorts of mundane things about what they're doing at that very moment.  In my mind, this is the best thing about Facebook.  You get to feel like you're experiencing those little moments with people who usually only impart the large information.  For instance, if you haven't talked to a friend for several months or even years, are you going to say, "Hey, guess what, I just had a pepperoni pizza for dinner" or that you are having sinus problems?  Probably not.  You would feel compelled to discuss how things had been in the past months or years, more of a macro overview of your life.  Somehow knowing the little things (the micro view) that people are doing or thinking on a daily basis really seems to connect folks.  This is good.

There is also the aspect of divulging interests on Facebook.  I had no idea that my second cousin's wife was into "In Style" and celebrity gossip.  My old friend Evelyn is now into all sorts of outdoorsy activities.  Who knew?  Also, there are tons of games on Facebook, although I haven't done much of that yet.  I'm trying to have some limits, although every time I participate in one of the quizzes, I am amazed at how fun this whole Facebook thing is.  I took a movie compatibility quiz and lo and behold, I had the best compatibility with my friend's husband, Phil.

Sharing photos is really easy on Facebook and a ton of fun.  People tag other Facebook members and this gets reported on your feed.  The scanner salesmen must be in hog heaven because so many people are scanning old photos so that they can tag people on Facebook.   If you want to expose your friend from high school with his Flock of Seagulls haircut, Facebook is for you.

Apparently, there is some "Six Degrees of Separation" experiment going on with Facebook.  This absolutely interests me.  I have found a ton of this already.  Usually the degree of separation is only three or four degrees.  For instance, my ex-boyfriend's sister is friends with a girl who is friends with a girl who is friends with my husband.  Are you with me here?  I'm just hoping to find how many degrees of separation between myself and Kevin Bacon.

Sometimes I get a nagging feeling that I don't like all this exposure, but I guess it's only one step from blogging.  Some people think it's the opposite, but since I'm fairly certain that next to no one reads my blog, I feel more exposed on Facebook.  Another disconcerting feeling from Doing The Facebook is that you feel a bit like a Peeping Tom.  You tell yourself that people are willingly divulging themselves, but still, it feels kind of  strange.  It would be even stranger if people revealed tidbits like "Tom is checking into rehab" or "Danielle is cheating on her husband."  Like most social interaction, people are only revealing what they want you to know (thankfully).

I'm hoping the novelty of this wears off, but for now, it's too much fun.  Gotta go check Facebook and see what Joanna had for dinner ...

Apocalypse Nap

See the photos below for more mischief and mayhem from the George Boys.  The room was pristine before "nap" time.  They're getting more creative with the moving of their bed to reach objects with which to make mischief.  Notice the torn up note pad (don't know where they got that) and the framed picture (which they obviously took off the wall).  Then they moved on to Sister's room since it was far too tidy for their taste.

Logie sez: Happy Thanksgiving!

Funky Monkey Music