I have found that having twins of the same gender elicits
pre-conceptions among strangers. There
are two types of reactions: 1) Are they identical? 2) Are
their personalities really different?
Would it be that life was so black and white. Number one, they are not identical and to my
eye, they don’t even look that much alike.
I’ve remedied this by only cutting one of the twin’s hair. Believe it or not, I think the hair is what
was making people think that they were identical. Now I’m getting, “Wow, they don’t look much
alike.”
Yes, the twin experience is different than being a
singleton, but the way this affects their personalities is up for debate. They did share a womb and are almost always
together so this does affect how they perceive and interact with the world
(nurture). But, biologically, they are
the same as any two brothers (nature).
When they are young, it is difficult to keep their identities separate
and distinct and most of us probably fall into the trap of lumping them together
with terms such as “the boys” or “the twins” or in my case, “the monsters” … I
say this in the most loving manner possible (wink, wink).
As far as the labeling of personalities, instead of putting
them in boxes with tidy labels such as “spirited” or “mellow,” it’s more an ebb
and flow of personality and moods. One
moment, one of them will be throwing a fit while the other flits around amusing
himself; the next moment, the roles will have switched. Some of the so-called personality traits can
last for quite a while. For almost the
first two years of his life, Dane was the independent one, rarely needy or
craving affection. Logan was the cuddly bear, always in your
lap, wanting to be held and kissed. Now
Dane has become “the sweet one.” He’s
constantly at my side or on my lap. In
fact, mommy’s lap has become a stand-in booster chair as he takes every meal
there. Gotta break that habit!
There is also the syndrome known as “I will one-up my
brother.” Yes, the competition starts
early and it not only shows itself in the quest for attention, but also “who
can be the most daring, the most destructive, etc.” This is evident after Dane and Logan nap. Their room looks post-apocalyptic. I can just imagine them feeding off each
other during this period of exile. “Hey,
he’s tearing up that book so maybe I’ll jump on this piece of furniture.” “He’s jumping on that piece of furniture so
I’ll try hanging from the ceiling fan.”
And on and on it goes.
So in my not-so-professional opinion, twins are both unique
and ordinary. It’s impossible to deny
that twins live somewhat exceptional lives in their early years. I can honestly count on one hand the number
times that my boys have been separated.
This has to play into their psycho-social development. On the other hand, they are just two little
fellas who shared a living space called mommy’s womb. As time progresses, they will develop lives
apart from each other and maybe then, they can escape from boxes.
Holy Cuteness, Batman!
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