When I was pregnant with my first set of twins, I bought every known how-to book on parenting twins out there. And there are lots of them! Some of the advice was somewhat off-putting. I remember reading that this one mom of twins affixed a sign to her stroller saying, "Yes, they are twins. No, they're not identical." In other words, "Bug off, nosy stranger!" I just could never imagine being so annoyed by the sweet attention of strangers. In fact, I absolutely love it when strangers come up to me and ask if my boys are twins. Since my "older" daughter is only 19 months senior to the boys, we even get the "Are they triplets" question. Of course, there aren't very many witty responses to "Boy, you have your hands full," but I just gamely nod assent and say perkily, "We sure do!" In other words, we do have our hands full, but I so love having these three little monkeys, that I'm going to stay perky and willingly bask in the attention of strangers. It's just plain fun. One time we were ambling with our triple-wide stroller in the Rose Garden park and there was a group of Japanese tourists that were all a-twitter over our trio. Many of them even took our photos, which made me feel like a rock star mommy!
Anyway, I'm digressing. The main subject of this post was on the topic of what we call Dane and Logan. Every book I read stressed the importance of not lumping your children into a two-word moniker, such as "the boys" or "the twins." This is considered verboten among those dogmatic twin experts. They are not one person, they say. They have their own names. Well, I have to admit that 9 times out of 10, we call Dane and Logan "the boys." I talked in a prior post about how twins do experience life a bit differently than singletons. The early life of a twin child is not a solitary existence. They do virtually everything together. Look at the last post! They were gently touching hands while they slept. This is one of the reasons that they are lumped together with the term, "the boys." Also, we are just so busy that this helps us say what we want to say and fast. Believe it or not, having to say "DaneandLogan" (4 syllables) is much longer and thus less efficient than "theboys" (two syllables). Does that sound ridiculous? Well, in the chaotic world of twins plus a singleton, cutting out two syllables can make a huge difference. We're all about simplifying life here.
I met a twin mom last week and she told me that the point where they had to stop calling her twins, "the boys" came when one of them thought that was his name. Seriously. Lucky for us, Dane and Logan know their own names so we can go on calling them "the boys" with impunity.
I find that in no way does calling Dane and Logan "the boys" diminish their individuality or sense of self. In fact, I have never seen this be the case in any of my observations of twins. The boys are very different kids even though their first two and a half years have been filled with virtually the same experiences. Logie is a social butterfly and loves to clown around. He's a dancing maniac and will start rocking out, even to music that you would normally not think would appeal to a toddler, such as ambient, "chill" type stuff usually only found in clubs and uber-hip bars. He's very self-confident and a bit more laid back than Dane. Dane is much more intense and does everything to the nth degree, even playing. He tends to be a bit more quiet and introspective with new people, but a wild maniac at home. He will not let anything get in the way of his pursuit of candy. He has the George family single-minded drive that will hopefully carry him far in life.
As Shakespeare wrote in Romeo and Juliet,
"What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet." I truly believe that calling Dane and Logan "the boys" has not affected their development nor will it scar them for life. As time progresses, "the boys" may fall by the wayside and then we'll start calling them "those sullen adolescents" or some such appropriate term.
Now, if we went around calling them "the monsters," that's quite a different story.
Native American Logie & Pilgrim Dane say "Happy Thanksgiving!"
Hangin' in the Rose Garden at 7 months
Comments