The Curious Georges

Got Octuplets? What we can learn from the fate of twin pandas.

Today as Nicole and I were waiting for over an hour at the allergist's office, I had a lot of time to read to her from her "Highlights" magazine.  There was a fascinating article on giant pandas and I sure learned a thing or two.  For one, a baby panda is so small that the mother panda has no "bump" and thus zookeepers have no idea that the panda is pregnant.  At birth, the baby panda weighs significantly less than its mother.  In July 2005, a 235 lb panda gave birth to a baby that weighed 4 ounces, which is typical.  Pandas subsist on bamboo, which is not nutritious enough to produce bigger babies, or even very many babies.  But they still have twins about 50% of the time.

The panda article got me thinking about the higher-order multiple births in the news.  There is a family who just had quintuplets in our neighborhood and then of course, we have the recent birth of octuplets to a woman who already has six kids.   We're talking high-maintenance here!  Likewise, baby pandas are extremely high-maintenance.  The mother has to sit up for six weeks to hold the panda cub and keep it warm and safe.  The harried panda mom does not get to eat or drink for two weeks.  They nurse the babies up to 12 times a day.  Also, daddy panda doesn't help at all.  For these reasons, a panda mom is almost always incapable of caring for more than one cub and the second cub will die from neglect.  In an effort to save the species, they've implemented programs where the twin cubs are separated, cared for by zookeepers and fed formula.

Now, we know human moms can care for more than one child at a time.  I should know.  I had twins when my daughter was only 19 months.  However, it is hard!  It's still hard.  I'm constantly being pulled in three directions and doing mental triage has become second nature.  This means that the child who is being the most outrageously annoying is usually the one who gets the attention.

This leads us to this crazy mom of fourteen!  I am not going to mince words here.  The woman is a lunatic!  What woman willingly brings this many babies into the world without resources or even a father?  What kind of life will these babies have?  All the appearances on Oprah and a house built on "Extreme Makeover" aren't going to make up for what these babies will lack, namely a quality bond with their parents.  The details of how this selfish woman got pregnant are still fuzzy, but the possible scenarios bring up many ethical issues.  If she did IVF, what kind of doctor would willingly implant eight embryos?  Human females are not physically made to give birth to a litter.  It is extremely dangerous for both the health of the babies and the mother.  Even though these babies made it to 31 weeks, that is still fairly premature and many of them will likely experience a host of life-long problems.  Who is going to drive all these kids to their many appointments with physical, occupational or speech therapists?  How will they coordinate for extracurricular activities?  What kind of car will be able to accommodate this many children?  Oh, the list of how wrong this is goes on and on.

The answer to these questions is that someone besides the mom will be doing and providing all these things.  They will survive on hand-outs and volunteering from individuals, corporations, the government and the most insidious of all, the media.  Maybe they'll do a "Jon & Kate Plus Eight."  We think all this careless breeding is cute, but what a life!  How sad to be forced to live in the glare of media attention.  But will they have a choice?  In my mind, this is a glorified orphanage ... with cameras.

So what can we learn from our panda friends?   Pandas do not willingly have twins and they know their limitations.  In the future, nature will adapt when it has figured out that panda mommies should stick with singletons.  Now, human beings can handle twins or even triplets and most will not willingly neglect their offspring, but the red flags are a-wavin' when some nut-job decides to have a litter of eight (especially when she is already a single mom of six).  The reality is that one person cannot raise this many children, especially if they were born at the same time.  My friend just told me the saddest story of a family with five kids under the age of six.  The youngest child recently drowned in the bathtub.  When I asked her how this happened, she alluded to the chaos in the house with five young children.   I'm not advocating big-brother-ish control here, but can't something be done to stop the madness?  Or will society go on condoning this outrageous behavior all for the sake of good entertainment?  For the sake of these poor children, I truly hope that someone comes to their senses.

Posted on Mad About Multiples by Lisa George.

Original post from The Curious Georges.

Back in the Saddle

I have been woefully remiss in blogging recently.  I have all sorts of excuses ... Facebook is sucking up all my time, the holidays, the January blahs, etc.  But the reality is that I've been having, in the words of my hubbie, "an existential crisis."  (Yes, he really talks that way.)  So, what exactly is this crisis about, you ask, ever so obligingly?

Well, the problem is, I'm a doer.  If I'm not accomplishing something, I feel adrift.  Now, you would think that  raising three young children and managing a household would be "doing something," but apparently that's not enough for me.  I've talked before about how hard the role of stay-at-home mom is.  Raising the future adults of the world is really the most important job there is, but it's just that the results are not as obvious.  No one gives you an "A+" or a raise if you're a good mom.  My kids are too young to say, "Hey I appreciate what you do for me."  Don't get me wrong.  One smile or cute remark from the kidlets and it's all worth it, but somehow this doesn't always keep the existential crisis at bay.

So, back to the blogging stuff.  I thought that if I put some advertising on this site, I would be able to contribute some money to the household and then feel like I was "doing something."  Well, it hasn't really worked out that way and I'm realizing that that's not really what this blog about.  It will always only appeal to a very short list of family, friends and fellow parents.  I don't want to be contrived and start scheming of ways to drive traffic to this blog.  This just gives me post traumatic stress from my days in advertising when things like "driving traffic" were utmost on my mind.  Right now, my kids are utmost on my mind, and that's how I'm going to keep it.

The existential despair also stems from wanting to use my creativity in ways that matter.  I love taking pictures, cooking, traveling and writing.  Isn't there a way to make these things into something with tangible results that go beyond mere hobbies (as in some sort of job)?  Well, the answer is, "right now, no."  I barely have a spare hour in the week so embarking on these quests is pretty much out of the question.  I have made a conscious decision to be home with my kids and when it comes down to it, I wouldn't want it any other way.  Still ...

My mother, never the most supportive of people, called me a "dilettante" because I always seem to just dabble in this and that.  Yes, it was meant as a put-down and unfortunately these words have stuck in my head.  Maybe if I did something really big, I could prove to the spirit of my mom that I'm worth something.  Barton says to ignore this inner critic (mom) and move on.  I think I will.